I’ve wondered what it is that drives men to go after women who they know are already taken. As a guy, I think I may know some possible mindsets behind this drive, and why they’re flawed. Gentlemen (and ladies, if you’re interested), this is for you.
Some guys like the idea of being able to steal a woman away from her partner because it makes them feel powerful; they feel adept for having enough charisma, good looks, money or whatever else to loosen the bond between a couple. But here’s the problem with that: if you’re able to steal a woman away from her man, the bond between them must not have been that strong to begin with. Why would anyone feel accomplished for leveling a castle that’s barely standing anyway? At the end of the day, you can only “get lucky” with a woman if she allows it; there’s no seductive black magic that’ll make a woman change her mind or her perspective on who she’s in a relationship with.
There’s also this idea that people find others more attractive when they’re in relationships, because they figure if someone else finds them desirable, they must be worth pursuing. The obvious problem with this idea is that we can only see other couples from the outside; chances are we don’t know the true nature of their relationships or what these people are really like. One guy falling for a woman who treats him badly for no reason doesn’t make her a catch that all the guys should be fighting over. Likewise, single women aren’t necessarily single because they’re not good women who some guys would want to spend the rest of their lives with. Remember: all those taken/married women you find attractive were single at one point, and chances are they didn’t undergo a complete personality change just by starting a relationship.
Gentlemen, let’s not waste time seeking cheap thrills when we could be pursuing real relationships.
Happy Valentine’s Day.